Surely, I can't look that old!
Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, 'Surely, I can't look that old!'   Well.... You'll love this one.   While sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist, I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago.  Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?  Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought.
This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.   After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park high school.
"Yes.  Yes, I did.  I'm a Mustang," he beamed with pride.
"When did you graduate?" I asked.
He answered, "In 1960.  Why do you ask?"
"You were in my class!"  I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely.  Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat ass, gray-haired, decrepit SOB asked, "What did you teach?"